What if Zombies Existed?

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The good news, your credit history, outstanding debt, cash flow, employment status or the interest on your mortgage would cease to matter… at all. The bad news, mindless, flesh-eating ghouls would be shambling through our neighborhoods consuming the flesh of anyone too slow to get away. My advice… start working on your cardio.

All this walking dead talk is the result of Miami police being forced to gun down a flesh-eating assailant who refused to stop gnawing on his victim’s face. Horrific, I know, but this isn’t an isolated incident, it is one in a rash of cannibalistic crimes popping up all over the country. I’ll spare you the gruesome list, but give it a quick Google if you’re as morbidly curious as I am. The point is that the new Zombie scuttlebutt has coaxed the CDC to go on the record with the notion that they don’t actually exist. Whether they do or not, the Quizzologists leave it up to your good judgment.

By now you’re asking yourself, ‘how is he going to tie this to personal finance?’ I will save you the trouble of wondering… I’m not. Apocalyptic predictions are a 21st Century obsession and in the case of the end of world, whether it be from a Zombie epidemic, massive climate change, an asteroid or your good old fashioned act of a vengeful god, when it comes your finances won’t matter, I just hope you have a lot of bottled water, firearms, ammunitions and canned food.